SINGAPORE AND A STUFF UP

TRAVEL SECTION ON THE BIG TRIP

Why did I like Singapore? It was neat, clean and well ordered, music to my Virgin Virgoan mind. One thing I noticed was the correct following distance between cars – two lengths between each while everyone managed to keep up a very respectable speed. I kept pointing this out to DH who tends to drive up other people’s bumpers but the only relpy was an indecipherable grunt.

We found this amazing place and I’m not sure we should have been in there, it was deserted, but it seemed to the entrance to flats or offices.

Gives a whole new dimension to the cafe downstairs!

HISTORY NONSENSE

Edward VII was right when he reckoned he would only reign for a short time, it was 9 years, not long besides his mother who’d been sitting on that throne for 63 – though the doctor did give her something for the chair sores.

But Bertie had a long life to look back on. In general the people though he’d not been a bad king, at least he got out and about unlike mum who sat inside and sulked.

THE STUFF UP

I’ve often said that those who got into the market place early had an amazing start, in the days before a new book was uploaded every 5 minutes. I should have been one of them as I published Walking over Eggshells in 2013, but then I knew nothing about marketing – not sure I know much now – so I sat with my book on Amazon and was surprised to see I’d sold 37 copies in that first year. I had no idea if anyone was going to buy it and I’m not sure I even thought about sales in those days. Ha, wish that was true now!

Then I saw an email address in the back of a book and as it was doing so well on Amazon I wrote to the author.

As they say, the rest is history. I joined Facebook, opened a Twitter account, put up a picture on Pinterest and devoured the blogs which dropped into my in-box. I was about to dip my toe into the world of marketing.

I decided that I had to be innovative and come up with something really different – but it backfired and I’ll tell you next week what it was. This I’m told is a cliff hanger! 🙂

Here is Walking over Eggshells, about to celebrate its 4th birthday.

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It’s the story of how my mother who suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder affected my life. I guess I should be grateful to Donald Trump as he is now described in similar terms and more people are aware of this syndrome. All I knew was that my mother didn’t love me and I thought it was my fault. She even succeeded in causing havoc from the grave after she passed on.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E8HSNDW  and available on all channels myBook.to/WoE

Till next week, take care.

MEALS AND MARIE BISCUITS

Now why did I ever think it was clever to alliterate all these headings, can you imagine how long it takes me to think them up? That’s right about 10 seconds.

THE TRAVEL STORY

Now I loved travelling around the Far East I really did, but, there comes a time when you just long for a good roast, or maybe an Italian and you feel if you ever look at another noodle you’ll slit your wrists. So, you can imagine our delight when we found this place in Penang, left over no doubt from the days of the British Empire.

We would never have found it but for a kind friend who has a holiday apartment on the island and was worried we were not having a good time.

We spent much of that in the shopping mall, just as good as many I’ve been in, but before we flew out the next day we decided to dine in the hotel.

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At first we thought the restaurant was closed, but as we peered in through the door, a kitchen person appeared and kindly called the staff in, laid the one table for us and we ate in total splendour, in total isolation watched by a fascinated and assorted crowd of hotel employees. I tried to reassure myself it was only because we were using knives and forks as honestly I think DH and I eat the same as everyone else. However, it was time to leave the next morning for Singapore.

HISTORY – THE NEW VERSION

Prince Alfred, Bertie’s younger brother announced his intention to marry the Grand Duchess Marie Alexandrovna, the daughter of the Tzar of Russia. Bertie thought this a great idea as family members of his wife Alix had also married Russian royalty. Of course Queen Vic wasn’t keen but this time she didn’t get her own way

The wedding took place at the Winter Palace in St Petersburg, and to commemorate the occasion a small English bakery made the Marie biscuit with the Duchess’ name printed on the top.

But there was trouble when they got back to London, for the pompous Marie insisted on taking precedence over Alix, since her father the Tsar considered the Danish royal family quite inferior. Really, you’d think being royal was enough without being snobbish about the hierarchy of such posh families.

PROMO TIME

Of course the reason I write a weekly blog is not so you’ll buy my books (uncross fingers from behind back).

However if you like erotica, fairies, dragons and the wild west you won’t find any books written by me.

If you do like action adventure, biographies and memoirs and comedy you just might!

And this is the link to my author page on Amazon as I like to be helpful

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lucinda-E-Clarke/e/B00FDWB914

My memoirs are wide and available on other channels.

Till next week take care.

DRAGONS AND DISASTER

THE TRAVEL STORY

Penang was a nice place, but it was almost impossible to see much. Not from the top of the bus, that was too scary, but because of all the people, you could hardly put a pin between them (well a little more artistic licence here as one of the photos will show).

Altogether we spent 5 hours on that bus and the heat was unbearable as it wended its way down to Butan Ferringhi. Most places were incredibly filthy, the food stalls grungy, the public loos a disgrace and we were bombarded with rap and other raucous music and horrendous traffic jams.

We’d become so used to the row outside, people, car horns and delightful screaming children that I was slow to realize the dragon dancing in a house across the road. So apologies for the blurred pictures, I missed most of it.

HISTORY NONSENSE

Now those of you who are really switched on will have noticed that I’ve hopped back in time a little to tell you more about Bertie. (I’m not too fussed about precision if you’re not). At this point I wish to remind you of my disclaimer as to the accuracy of these lessons and should you fail any exam by quoting from my blogs I take no responsibility whatsoever.

Now just when you were thinking that Bertie was an absolute cad (an old British word for scumbag) you should know that when Lily Langtree became pregnant, Mr Langtree went bankrupt and left her and she was forced to retire from society.

Lillielangtry1ACTRESS

She moved into a small apartment and was astounded when Bertie – (by now called Teddy by most of his friends), knocked on the door.

He proved himself loyal and helped her begin her acting career by introducing her to all the right people. They had ceased to be lovers, but the Prince remained a good friend. That’s not probably quite as his wife Alix saw it however.

 

THE EMBARRASSING PROMO BIT

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I’ve not pushed my comedy book for a while and it’s worth a read, especially if you’re feeling a little depressed. I take you back in time to Fairyland, two hundred years on from that memorable ball, to tell you about Cinderella, now fat, blousy and very, very common. She’s had enough of King Charming and is planning on how to get a divorce. Add to this the elegant and prissie Snow White, married to King Harold who beds anything within reach, and Sleeping Beauty who is making up for lost time and terrorizing her wimpy husband King Augustus who can’t afford to feed the 28 children they’ve already produced. As if all that wasn’t bad enough enter the Green Giant who has been sent to cause a revolution among the happy peasants who are just that – happy.  http://amzn.to/2j26YUd

Till next week, take care.

NEW YEAR – NEW KING

We settled in to our hotel in Penang but the restaurant, well advertised on the net didn’t appear to be open, so we sauntered off and found yet another shopping mall! All lit up for Chinese New Year. Once again I opted for Italian – my favourite food – although they had just about everything you could wish for.

Next day we walked around to look at the colonial buildings.

We took another bus ride, the best way to see what there was to see.

Due to the holidays everywhere was crowded with queues for the temples. We had no idea what was going to happen here. We went down to the fishing village area, but I didn’t take many pictures.

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HISTORY RUBBISH

Bertie was involved in another scandal over cheating at cards (they worried about things like that in those days). His big enemy Emperor Willhelm of German his nephew spread the gossip all around Europe. WILHELM ADULT

That is the Kaiser on the left.

When Bertie became King, he was called Edward VII. His one claim to fame was the successful operation for his appendicitis which previously had been considered fatal.  He was generally regarded as a good king, one of the most popular monarchs since the 1660’s.

THE NATURAL BREAK (ADVERTISING)

 

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I’ve not mentioned my first memoir Walking over Eggshells, for a while.  It describes living in the shadow of a parent with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder – a word that is being used a lot in the news lately, and may help to raise awareness. Read this book and learn what signs to look out for – I only discovered the problem after my mother died. WoE can also be described as a travel memoir, a disaster memoir and an inspiration.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E8HSNDW

Till next week, take care. 🙂

PENANG AND PIED A TERRES

These are a couple of pictures I took on the bus tour round Kuala Lumpur.

It appeared a well ordered city and the people were friendly.

Now the original plan had been to get a train from Bangkok to Kuala Lumpur, but when we asked about this we were told the track ran through disputed territory and there had been some attacks on the trains. Probably not important enough for CNN or the BBC to report on, but since we’re cowards we decided not to chance it. So, we’d flown to KL and planned to take the train north to Penang (DH likes trains). I honestly can’t remember now why we included it on our itinerary. What we hadn’t counted on was Chinese New Year – remember those pretty lanterns last week? Everything was booked and I mean everything. Trains, busses, donkey carts, wheelbarrows, everything that might transport us to the next destination.

Eventually we managed to hire a car with driver (there were no facilities for self drive and drop off at the other end).

We clung on for dear life as we hurtled north, as strangely, our driver didn’t feel it was necessary to look at the road. Another of those frustrated Formulae 1 drivers I suspect.

The bridge linking Penang Island with the mainland was spectacular.

And the hotel we had chosen looked great on booking.com but reminded me of those horror movies!

But it was clean and comfortable.

FAKE HISTORY LESSON

No sooner had Bertie recovered from the typhoid attack when it was rumoured that he and Alfred were looking for a house where they could entertain their actress friends. Bertie was as “at home” in London as he was in Paris, and surrounded himself with aristocratic, elegant, extravagant and probably immoral friends. There were dozens of house parties at Sandringham, Alix and Bertie’s family home.

A family approaching the main entrance on the East side of the Royal Residence Sandringham House Norfolk UKWhile Alix saved all the coupons for cheap deals at Aldi, Lidle and Walmart, Bertie was frittering money away on the Euromilions and Candy Crush.

MY BOOKS

Guess I ought to mention these?  I have completed the first draft of the 4th in the Amie in Africa series. You might want to take a look at the other three? myBook.to/Amie1   They can be bought as a set.

amie-series-5-march-2017My newsletter has the continuing drama about Amie v Lucinda E Clarke though the British courts. This the sign up link if you’d like to read about that and the free back stories to Amie, currently featuring Samantha and Ben. http://eepurl.com/cBu4Sf  Plus news about other authors and competitions to win more books.

Till next week, take care.

MARKETS AND MAYHEM

We had a whole day to spend in Kuala Lumpur and decided just to wander around. Quite a clean town with scruffy areas, but there was lots of interesting architecture.

We found this amazing market, part of it indoor and part outdoor. There was no tat at all. DH is hiding in there somewhere – you know how camera shy he is! To my delight I found a knock off Rado watch which was exactly the design I wanted. And yes, before you ask, it’s still working 16 months later! I was quite proud of my bargaining skills, learned in the Indian quarter in Durban, and despite watching the stall holder wrestle a huge flight case festooned with padlocks, out from a back store, containing silk lined boxes suitably labelled I didn’t believe for a moment the contents were real.

I am strong willed when it comes to buying souvenirs, and my only other purchase was a fridge magnet. I do hope you’re impressed.

Then it was the hop on hop off bus as we toured every route and stopped off at the bird park.

So had everyone else in the city and the place was packed. It took forever to buy rolls for lunch and just as DH placed these on the table, some feathered things dived out of the sky and swiped the lot. I’ve never been that crazy about birds and now I like them even less.

These two pictures should have given us a hint that we’d forgotten something – I’ll tell you next week.

HISTORY STUFF

Even while his mum was still alive Bertie was, to put it mildly, very naughty. He ran up huge gambling debts, (he adored buying tickets for the Lotto) consorted with actresses and was involved in several scandals.

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DISRAELI

Then he went down with typhoid (the same illness which had killed his father Albert), even his mama rushed to his bedside and the British public suddenly forgave him all his bad behaviour and cheered when he recovered. The politician Disraeli commented  “To have come closer to death and lived was an even greater achievement than to have died.

ADVERTISING SLOT

Just to let you know that Amie African Adventure book one in the series is still at $/£0.99   just so you can get to meet her for almost nothing!

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http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWFIO5K

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00LWFIO5K

Till next week, take care.

LOFTY VIEWS AND LOVERS

Well last time I left us half way up the twin towers, and after waltzing along the connecting bridge it was time to go higher. I noticed the nice (I love using ‘nice’ in my blogs as of course it’s a no no in books we all know that!) lady in the second bank of lifts wasn’t smiling. I don’t blame her going up and down all day. I wondered if you started working in the bottom set and then moved on up to working the top bank. I shall never know. The pictures speak for themselves, they need no words from me.

That first picture shows the information centre, and there was so much to read I almost forgot to look out of the windows.

Next it was on to Penang – but there was a big problem – something we hadn’t planned for. (This is known as a cliff hanger).

THE HISTORY RUBBISH.

JOHN BROWN

Well that got Bertie (#1 son) married off at last, to Alexandra from Denmark but he was quite naughty (had affairs and such). His mother – Queen Victoria – despaired of him, but honestly she couldn’t talk as she holed up with a Scottish gamekeeper who went by the unusual name of John Brown. She particularly liked his kilts.

But then John Brown upped and died so she took up with an Indian servant and elevated him while she learned Hindi. She called him the Munshi which roughly translated means Munchi.  We are of course supposed to believe she remained quite pure and corresponded mostly on Facebook and Twitter from one end of the palace to the other.

I think we better move on to Bertie next week, I’m quite fed up with the woman but, until very recently, she was the longest reigning monarch, she sat on that throne for 63 years. That’s quite some feat and goes to show how well they made furniture in those days, no IKEA rubbish for her.

THE HARD SELLL BIT

This is the section where I mention I write books and show you a picture of them, and very casually drop the links to my Amazon author page where you can see them all and go and buy them all.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lucinda-E-Clarke/e/B00FDWB914/

Till next time take care.  🙂