IT’S OFFICIAL, I’M THE BIGGEST COWARD IN THE WORLD

 

I really had promised myself that 2017 was the year I was going to be brave, but here we are on the second of the month and already I can’t crack it. You see I was going to look back and check out last year’s New Year resolutions and then comment on how well I did or didn’t do – but I just can’t face it. I’m going to pretend I didn’t make any, though becoming a New York Times bestselling author is niggling at the back of my mind – that didn’t happen. Nor did the film offer from Hollywood materialize, so disappointing. I was looking forward to sitting by some famous swimming pool with household name stars drooling over me. The only thing that drooled over me was the neighbour’s Labrador.

I read a million blogs/pieces of advice/how to do stuff last year and they all tell me to stay positive. So I am going to look on the bright side. There were certainly some highlights in 2016 and hey, as of this moment I’ve still got 2 legs and 2 arms, a roof over my head and food in the fridge.

I admit to being very disappointed in Santa this year. I left out no less than 3 mince pies, a whole bottle of wine which cost me E1.57 ($1.50) at Lidl’s and very specific instructions and plans for the room extension I wanted to use as a study so I could lock myself away and write in peace. I had carefully explained that I was struggling to write with the TV on, DH chatting on the cell phone, and Skype calls from the other side of the world. At the very least I thought he might have dropped off a pair of headphones if he didn’t have space for a new room on the sleigh – I was prepared to understand his limitations. But no, he left me some deodorant, an orange (which looks suspiciously like those on the tree outside),

and a large bar of chocolate with several squares missing. I’m trying to read some message into all this, is he trying to tell me something? Would he be suggesting that I give it all up, vegetate on the couch peeling an orange while munching on the chocolate in a cloud of anti-perspirant spray?

So what are my resolutions for 2017? Do I have the courage to make any? I spent many sleepless nights worrying and fretting about this, until I had the Great Idea. I would make some and I would keep them.

RESOLUTION ONE

Get more followers on my blog – note I’m not specifying any numbers, so if it’s one more at the end of the year, that should be possible.

RESOLUTION TWO

Grow my mailing list. I feel I can accomplish this if I pounce on a couple of timid strangers in the supermarket, slam them up against the frozen fish counter and say “Give me your email address or else…” while baring my teeth and growling, so that should work as well.

RESOLUTION THREE

Get my monthly newsletter up and running. This will contain all kinds of interesting and quirky stuff, other writers, readers’ comments and the back stories for Amie and others in the series. This will be exclusively for the newsletter only and not published anywhere else.

There will also be a full in-depth following of the court case as Amie sues me for defamation of character, deprivation of her human rights, murder and a whole host of other complaints. Portions of this will appear on my blog as well.

So, I think that solves the problems, now to get to grips with Mail Chimp (I’d love to strangle that monkey and wipe the smile off his face), and I’m all set for 2017.

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And, finally if you’ve not met Amie yet, pop over to lucindaeclarkeauthor.com and check her out.

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I hope 2017 brings you all that you could wish for

with love from me.