This is a conversation I had a couple of years ago
ME: Wow! Finished at last. Yeah! Now, should I write THE END or just leave it?
AMIE: You’ve not finished.
ME: I’ve finished the book, my first full length novel after three memoirs.
AMIE: No you haven’t finished.
ME: Look, who’s the writer here? It’s my book and I’m telling you I’ve finished it.
AMIE: I’m the star and I’ll tell you when you’ve finished.
ME: As the author I’m in charge, I write the words and I do what I want with you.
AMIE: That’s what you think, I know better. You only think you’re in control.
ME: You really have an over-inflated opinion of yourself. You were a real wimp at the beginning, scared to go to Africa.
AMIE: Ah, but I toughened up right?
ME: Well yes but …
AMIE: Who did all that slogging across the bush? Me, not you. Who got slung in jail? Me not you. Get a life. I want to go back.
ME: To Africa? You must be mad.
AMIE: Of course to Africa, where else?
ME: Look, I’ve got you back home safely, you’re with Mum and Dad. So stop whinging.
AMIE: Jonathon’s still in Africa.
ME: No problem, I can just add a paragraph to bring him home on the next plane.
AMIE: Not good enough. I want to go back. I’m the star, I’m in charge and I’m going to throw one hell of a tantrum if you don’t do as you’re told or I won’t cooperate for the next book.
ME: Are you blackmailing me?
AMIE: In a word – yes.
ME: But …
AMIE: Start writing.
The first in the Amie series Amie an African Adventure is on SALE at $/£ 0.99 until Sunday 19th June when the price goes back up to $3.50, so grab it while its cheap.
Please re-blog this while the promo is on, Amie’s got a gun from somewhere and she’s pointing it at my head, at this range she won’t miss. The megalomaniac is insisting more people read about her and I’m terrified of guns. So please help save a terrified writer friend.