EVENT LAUNCH OF NEW BOOK DAY – LOCATION
VFIHNA – penthouse of top posh, swanky London hotel
ME: rural Spain, home.
VFIHNA – orders luxury fare from room service with buck’s fizz
ME – toast and marmalade at table in lounge/dining room/kitchen with mug of coffee
VFIHNA – reads raving press releases in newspapers while waiting for hairdresser
ME – rapid shower, washes own hair
VFIHNA – browses Dior catalogue before power dressing.
ME – throws on jeans and ‘I am a writer’ tshirt
VFIHNA – descends to conference room to meet press
ME – trip to market to check out new fleece. While there, duck down behind Churizo van to check sales figures.
VFIHNA – morning coffee before meeting with Hollywood producer
ME – coffee with DH at local café
VFIHNA – takes call from second film producer fighting for screen rights
ME – take call from friend, am I free for lunch next week?
VFIHNA – lunch with adoring fans as publicity stunt
ME – sandwich in kitchen
VFIHNA – checks emails including one from Bookbub begging to include the new book in their prono
ME – checks email, another ‘no’ from Bookbub
VFIHNA – rest before glittering evening function in ballroom
ME – ironing, checking sales figures, run round with vacuum cleaner
VFIHNA – liaises with PA and publicist
ME – chat with friends on Facebook, send out begging emails to buy my book
VFIHNA – PR hands list of total sales in thousands for day
ME – on knees groveling to DH to buy one copy of my new book even if he has read it already.
VFIHNA – dresses for banquet in long, slinky, sparkly dress with matching jewellery
ME – peals off jeans and into comfortable tracksuit
VFIHNA – ascends stage to give thank you speech to invited guests
ME – dishing up spag bol in kitchen, before checking sales figures
VFIHNA – receiving accolades and television interview
ME – watching news on television
VFIHNA – off to London nightclub for late night celebration
ME – crawls into bed after catching up on emails.
VFIHNA – mixes with famous film and TV celebrities extolling new book
ME – dreaming of mixing with famous film and TV celebrities extolling new book
(Well I can dream can’t I?)
I want to mention here that No More Mulberries by Mary Smith is on special offer @ 0.99c/p right now and if you’ve not read it, I would highly recommend it – the subject is women in Afghanistan and it’s one of those books you remember long after reading it.
I’m glad so many of you enjoyed the blog share with true interesting bits of historical interest, but now this is me writing, so you can’t trust any of the following.
We’ve got as far as James II and he became king because Charles II had died – of possible natural causes.
Here is James with Daddy painted by Peter Lely. (He was a busy painter wasn’t he?)
I must explain here that Charles II and James II were brothers.
James II was a very special little boy, since Daddy was Charles I he was appointed Lord High Admiral at the age of 3.
He was now in charge of all the ducks in his bath and all the ships in the navy. At the age of 9 he was given the Order of the Garter to keep his tights in place (garter by eyecatching creations) but when the people began to fight, he was smuggled abroad
disguised as someone else.
While James was growing up he fought in the French army, but maybe we shouldn’t mention that. It’s not quite the done thing, even in those days and his PR department covered up this rather shameful behaviour.
Then his brother Charles really went and stuffed things up by becoming friends with the Spanish who were the enemies of France and so they threw James out of the French army. What was he supposed to do now?