DEVASTATING NEWS, COMPETITION AND MORE OF QUEEN JANE

We were having breakfast quietly the other morning when DH looked up from his iPad and gave me the devastating news. I had NOT won the Booker Prize AGAIN this year. How they overlooked me I have no idea, but it appears that “Visionary” Hungarian writer Laszlo Krasznahorkai has been announced as the winner of the sixth Man Booker International Prize.

So what did the judges say?  “What strikes the reader above all are the extraordinary sentences, sentences of incredible length that go to incredible lengths, their tone switching from solemn to madcap to quizzical to desolate as they go their wayward way.”

Firstly if I was editing the above, I would have struck out the repetition of ‘sentences of incredible length’, and if the full stops were that far apart I would have added lots of extra ones in for him.

A previous work by the same author was made into a seven hour film in black and white. (‘Game of Thrones’ must pale beside that). The judges added: “The Melancholy of Resistance, Satantango and Seiobo There Below are magnificent works of deep imagination and complex passions, in which the human comedy verges painfully on to transcendence.” (OK like to comment on what you think that means? Because I haven’t the faintest idea).

So to all my writer friends, give up right now. We must be doing it all wrong. Forget the punctuation and start writing very, very, very long sentences in Hungarian if you want to get ahead and top the sales charts.

I have it on good authority that it costs thousands to enter the competition, and then you cough up another £15,000 if you get into the quarter finals and the same amount again if you are chosen for the semi finals – and we thing BookBub is expensive!!

A reminder about MY competition. Winner gets a £10 / or $ equivalent gift voucher for Amazon, and a signed copy of ‘Truth, Lies and Propaganda’ posted to your door.  All you have to do is find the money saving tip in the book (thus getting your money back on the cost of the book in a couple of weeks) – write a review and post it on Amazon and send the answer and a copy or link of the review to my email – and to make that easy for you, here it is: lucindaeclarke@gmail.com  Closing date end of May.

And here is the book cover, I understand it’s quite fun to read, with lots of laughs in it, all about filming out and about in South Africa.

TLP Front cover + title

So where did we leave poor Queen Jane? Well she was quietly having tea one afternoon in Syon House when a crowd of men burst in and announced she was now the queen.

SYON HOUSE 2 What a surprise! Was she happy about this? No, she burst into tears. Then she knelt down and had a quick chat with God and agreed to go to the Tower (she really should have known better).

JANE GREY HOMAGE

Bands of armed guards were sent out in case there were disturbances, but mostly the crowds were silent, and hostile.  One young vintner’s boy cried out for Queen Mary and had his ears nailed to the pillory and afterwards cut off.

PILLARY

Of course his parents immediately rushed off to their lawyers to sue the city, but their case was dismissed with costs, which sadly they couldn’t afford and so they possibly ended up in the Marshalsea debtor’s prison.

Jane meanwhile continued to be miserable and it’s not surprising, as Mary wrote her a very rude letter saying she was not queen and Mary was. She upset her mother too, by refusing to name her husband as king – it looked as if she was going to be difficult.

Some of her noble friends changed sides, and one even ran off with all the gold in the Tower, leaving Jane short of pocket money just when she’d planned to go to Sainsburys.

Tower of London
Tower of London

Mary was marching on London, and Jane’s mummy and daddy went home, sure that Jane would be able to talk her way out of this rather tricky situation. Maybe she wouldn’t notice that the Tower was almost deserted, since she was well into a great book she’d just downloaded from Amazon.

Meanwhile Mary was fast approaching at the head of an army….. (is there no end to the cliffhangers in my blogs?)

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