ARACHNOPHOBIAS DO NOT READ

(Yes, it is spelled correctly, I looked it up).  I’m sitting here in the sunshine, bright and early on a Monday morning and my mind has gone a complete blank. That’s what happens sometimes. I wonder if Shakespeare, or Tolstoy ever had this problem? Perhaps they popped out for a quick sleigh ride or a punt along the Thames? Mind it’s not really so important for me, no one expects flowing prose, especially on a Monday morning. In fact you probably don’t expect anything sensible at all do you?

Maybe my remaining brain cell is refusing to work because of all the racket coming from the farm on the opposite hill. Easter is approaching and the pens are full of quacking ducks, squawking chickens and the donkey has been evicted yet again. I’ve noticed that before major festivals, there is plenty of livestock over there, and just before, it all goes very quiet. No prizes for guessing where they have gone – yes, to the big barnyard in the sky, via the Spanish digestive system.

Enough of this waffle, let’s cut straight to today’s history lesson, where we left Edward II on the throne of England.

EDWARD IIDoesn’t he look splendid? The problem with Edward II was that he kept falling out with his friends at court and banishing them and then unbanishing them again. This was confusing for everyone.

ROBERT THE BRUCEDaddy had left him with the Scotch problem, now under the leadership of Robert the Bruce and his pet spider. I’ll label them so you can see which is which.  Robert is on the left and the spider is just below.

SPIDER 2I didn’t make the spider too big in case you don’t like spiders.

There was a big battle at Bannockburn which was won by the Scots using very UNFAIR means……

BANNOKBURN 2such as using weapons of war AND starting the fight before 10 am.

BANNOCKBURN

On Friday I will tell you about the awful end of Edward II. It’s very sad so buy in a large box of tissues.

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