WHAT AM I DOING?

If you had been a fly on the wall at lunch today you might have heard the following.
OH: I thought we had come to Spain to retire?
Me: Er, yes.
OH: I know you would always write, but this?
ME: Er, and what?
OH: All you can talk about are algorithms, marketing ploys, Facebook and Bookbub.
ME: Er, yes but I….
OH: It has become all consuming.
ME: Er, well you see it’s….
OH: Is this going to last long?
ME: Er, I do find it interesting…
OH: That’s perfectly obvious.
ME: And this morning I was reading up about Amazon’s new policy of their Unlimited scheme, and they say they will pay authors if subscribers read more than 10% of the book. Now how can they tell that? Does each book only slide out of the cloud a couple of percent at a time? How do they know you have not sneaked as far as 11 or 12%? Isn’t this really Big Brother watching? Don’t you think it’s a bit creepy?
And I’ve looked up the ratings for Amie today and I’m listed on Amazon.com now as well, at #36, don’t you think that’s good? It’s gone down in one rating for Dot.co.uk but up in two others. It’s getting quite exhausting as I’ve now got 3 FB pages to check, did I tell you I had set up one for Walking over Eggshells and another for Amie? Now I have to get lots of likes on each page, and I think that helps with the ratings as well. I’m not sure how that works exactly but….
OH: we need food in the house.
ME: Sorry, I’m getting quite carried away, it’s really exciting and I am learning so much. Yes, you’re right, let me just answer this post and……

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She says I should have been quiet!

So last night and today, I have been putting the word out that I am going to publish tomorrow. I thought it a great idea! Let everyone know that Friday 18th July 2014 was the day I launch Amie – An African Adventure into the world. I added the following information about the book and a picture of the front cover.

Would you follow your partner and go and live in Africa? Out tomorrow on Kindle –
Amie – An African Adventure.
Amie was just an average girl, living in her home town close to friends and family. She was happily married and she had her future all planned out. They would have two adorable children, while she made award winning programmes for television.
Until the day her husband announced he was being sent to live and work in an African country she’d never heard of.
When she came to the notice of a Colonel in the Government, it made life very complicated, and from there things started to escalate from bad to worse.
If Amie could have seen that one day she would be totally lost, fighting for her life, and enduring untold horrors, she would never have stepped foot on that plane.

Now I do understand that if you do not advertise and promote, then your book will sink without a trace, very sad. So to maximize my chances, I am reading a book which in theory tells me how to do this [though to be honest, I don’t understand all of it, it can be very technical in places – though I have learned that an algorithm is something used by Amazon and does not feed off the ocean floor]. Then I got to the bit where she tells you to publish quietly, not tell anyone and get a few reviews in and then make a big loud fuss. Er, well, yes, it’s a bit late for that now isn’t it? Hmmmmmmm.
What is extra scary is, I hope I reemmber how to do it, I might be struggling until Saturday morning, or even further into the future trying to get it off the ground. Only time will tell.